The Letter I Couldn’t Send
Dear John,
We had a unique connection, a deep love, and multilevel compatibility. At least that’s what I thought. It’s perplexing to me that we couldn’t grow our relationship. However, now that a little time has passed, I’ve had a chance to reflect on what went wrong. I wrote down these thoughts because I want to be honest about my feelings.
I don’t think it’s realistic to expect no conflict in a relationship. It puts a lot of pressure on your partner and has a chilling effect on communication. It felt like walking on eggshells when we couldn’t discuss ways to move forward together. I tolerated the deflection and deferral even though my investment in this relationship was on the basis that we would attempt to settle down together. You are the first person with whom I really wanted to try. I thought that a) you were capable of being my life partner and b) this is something you wanted to do. I prioritised you and the relationship for the first three years… I put other things on hold. But I began to doubt your ability to follow through & take the next steps forward. When these doubts increased, trust was eroded and that robbed us of romance- I had nothing to look forward to.
When your commitment issues became clearer, it impacted my ability to commit in turn and trust our connection. I tried to take a leaf out of your book: pulling back, being…
